At some point it just feels sucky to be around people having fun if they expect you to also be all fun-having when you can’t. I have to go off by myself a little at that point to deal with myself and whatever pain I’m in. I used to be a fun person. Now that barely ever happens. Anyway. I’ll get better, it will just take a while.
That’s how I’ve been feeling, except for the last sentence. I’m really glad Liz added the last sentence. I need/want to feel that way, too.
I’m trying to find the balance between exercise/activity and rest/recuperation. I feel disgusted with myself when I don’t work out three times a week, but I feel scared to do more. I feel like there’s no excuse not to work out, except that I know there’s an excuse not to work out. What to do? Work on a schedule, or try to detect the incomprehensible signs of the body? Is the fact that I’m tired and in pain because I’ve done too much, or because I’ve done too little?
I may not be like others in a w/c, but I used to be a GREAT able bodied dancer (if I do say so myself). What I don’t like is that people think that I should enjoy “dancing” on the dance floor in my chair. Well, I don’t. I’m happy for others in a w/c that do, but I don’t.
I’m often asked by other (usually drunk) women at events to come out and dance with them. I don’t want to and I don’t appreciate it that saying no once to the invitation just doesn’t seem to be enough. Rant over.
Other than that, I think I’m a lot of fun ;)