brokenclay.org/journal

I know exactly how stupid what I am about to write sounds.

Jody is right. I am doing too much.

I don’t want it to be too much. I want to do all the things I am doing. I want to help with the remodeling, to tile my own bathroom and paint my own walls. I love painting. I don’t want my husband to do all the work and have to worry about me as well.

I want the additional responsibility I’ve gotten at work. I should be able to do this, and do it well. I love that gleam they get in their eyes when they realise that I am someone who can do this work, and enjoy doing it.

Damn it. Damn it.

Katja

4 Comments

  1. Kezzykat

    Doesn’t sound stupid. Frustration really is a tough one. Nor does it sound like a tantrum,

    wish i had somethong more constructive to say

    kerry

    Reply
  2. Gimpy Mumpy

    I totally understand. For those of us who are naturally independent do-it-ourselfers this part of disability can be more difficult to deal with than all of the pain.
    My best advice (although difficult for me to take as well) is to set moderate goals. I know I really should be setting small goals, but some of us need the challenge of moderate goals. Just don’t burn yourself out completely with totally unrealistic goals. If these are goals you must keep, then set a more realistic timeline for accomplishing them.
    Oh yah, and use the force girl!

    Reply
  3. zenhead

    Oh I so hear you. I HATE the feeling of being an invalid, “Here, let me do that for you,” just hate it. It is one of the hardest realities I’ve had to get my head around, that my capacities are limited. For a great description, read The Spoon Theory (I hope these comments support html!)

    Reply
  4. Jody

    Why is it that almost all people with MS are type “A” personalities that want to do it all and do it by themselves? Why?

    Reply

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