From Lisy Babe, these are fun:
Why do these offers of help only come along when I’m fine? Why do supermarkets only put feta cheese on the top shelf? And why does no-one ever say “Do you need a hand?” when I’m attempting to mount a chiller cabinet in Sainsbury’s just to reach the damn stuff?
And the entry just after it (which I can’t seem to link to):
Especially given the novelty [allure] I seem to hold. I’ve seen countless people fail to cross the road this week because they’ve been so busy watching how it is that I do it, that they’ve forgotten that the green man means that they can go.